Two more days to 31st of December. As I stand at the edge of the year in contemplation, I’ve many reasons to be grateful.
It has been an incredible journey for me this year. New milestones were reached and I’ve seen growth in almost every area of my life.
Of course there were many low points as well. It was rough sometimes and many times I couldn’t see the way forward. In moments like that, I just focus on taking small steps, and I take them in faith.
I avoid dwelling on my mistakes, flaws and insecure thoughts. There is no end if I choose to analyze and over-analyze on my thoughts – feelings – actions – words – behaviors – results. It’s a miserable place to live in – getting stuck in the past.
I consciously shift into states of gratitude and appreciation. I’m persuaded and convinced that they are the best place to be in.
I’m constantly reminded of the innate wisdom, infinite beauty and strength within everyone of us. We keep looking out there for answers because we forget about the God-given wellspring of resources flowing from within.
“Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.”~Augustine
There’s just so much beauty – both in the physical world out there and the one in all of us.
Just last month, my wife and I flew to one of our dream destinations, the South Island of New Zealand (and celebrated our 10th marriage anniversary). It was like heaven on earth. Nicknamed as ‘God’s Own Country’, NZ is definitely the most scenic country I’ve ever visited so far. I captured thousands of photos and hundreds of videos. There were just too many “wow” moments, sights that took my breath away!
It was a self-drive tour as we journeyed most of the South Island. At the same time, it was also a journey of self-discovery, an inner journey, as an individual and as a partner to my spouse. I had awareness of what I liked and disliked. I caught waves of emotions that were surfacing in me, and their subtle link with my thoughts in the moment.
There’s so much we could learn from the nature surrounding us. For example, I saw this quote at Mount Cook, NZ:
“The river issues from the mountain and gathers confidence. It has the assurance of one who knows that it will return to where it belongs.” ~ Brian Turner
I looked back at my insecure thinking and lack of assurance, I realized that I sometimes forget the all-important thing: “Who do I belong to?” Or “Where will I return to?” These are spiritual questions that I’m coming to terms with.
The concept of God that I knew brought confusion and pain. I was trying to disassociate with what I used to know that didn’t work. I was working on my past.
As I stood at the edges of the bluest lakes I’ve ever seen and staring at those majestic mountains, I couldn’t help but be reminded that I’m one with the world around me. I’m made of the same stuffs as those beauties. The same Creator that crafted them made me. I’m a masterpiece crafted by the Master. This is the only concept of God that I need to know, and that’s enough for that moment.
I belong to him. That knowledge and assurance is my source of confidence. That’s my grounding.
When I was looking at the massive gorgeous mountains and lakes around me, my goals, dreams and aspirations became so small. My fears, pains and regrets seemed insignificant. It’s not that they didn’t matter anymore. It’s just that my perspective had been lifted higher.
Everything that was mine was stripped away – they don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Only feelings of appreciation and gratitude remained.
I became grounded. I reconnected with my grounding.
I’m stepping into the New Year freer and taller. I am not necessarily going in with a solid and comprehensive plan. But I have a clearer vision of who I am and where I’m heading toward.
That is enough.